Off My List
by psycho chibbi
Summary: Milliardo is faced with an uncertain future. When he wandered into a small town bar in the dead of night, he didn’t expect to find anyone that knew him. He certainly didn’t expect a familiar blonde boy with a story that matched his own. ONESHOT


**Off My List**

_by: a psycho chibi named Wendy_

_Disclaimer: _I don't own. I pwn, baby. Muahaha!!

_Warnings:_ Language, angsty broody stuff, ONESHOT, Rated M for a few F-bombs

_Pairings: _None, really. It's not Yaoi, but it you need a yaoi fix, just pretend it's 6x4.

_Summary:_ Milliardo is faced with an uncertain future. When he wandered into a small town bar in the dead of night, he didn't expect to find anyone that knew him. He certainly didn't expect a familiar blonde boy with a story that matched his own.

_Author rant: _I've had this thing wasting away on my computer for like.. 4 years, and I finally finished it. Yaay~

_Note: _Takes place after the battle at Sanc Kingdom

Enjoy~

_fjfjfjfjfjfjfj_

Hands shoved deep into his pants pockets, a solitary man walked slowly down a deserted street. The street cut through the center of a sleepy little village, literally in the middle of nowhere. Night had already settled over the land, and from the way none of the lights were on in the little houses that were scattered about, he figured it was probably some where around one in the morning.

Not like it mattered. Time was of little importance to him anymore. He certainly had no place he had to go to. No one waiting for him. Not anymore.

He suddenly growled when he was reminded of how utterly alone he was. "Dammit, Milliardo, get yourself together. I don't need anyone... I never needed anyone. Others will just slow me down. I should have set out on my own years ago." he grunted to himself in irritation.

Ever since his last battle with Heero Yuy ended in a tie, Milliardo had lost any and all direction he thought he had. He had no idea of where he should go, let alone what he should do when he got there. He wasn't even certain of where he was. He knew he had ended up in some rural area in North America, but for all he knew he could have crossed the U.S. and Canadian border three times by now and not even be aware it. He didn't bother reading any signs that he came across. He didn't really care where his wanderings led him.

However, as time wore on, his feet were getting rather sore. He had been walking with very little rest for the past two days, so was beginning to think that stopping somewhere would be the best solution if he planned on 'striking out on his own'. Where he was going to go in a bumfuck town he had no clue, but there was no harm in looking.

So for the first time since he left the safety of Epyon's cockpit, Milliardo lifted his head and actually took in his surroundings. For a moment all he could see were small domiciles that were devoid of life, and small shops that were placed haphazardly close to the main road. All the lights were out and it was dead silent.

Which made Milliardo frown deeply and grind his teeth slightly. "Fuckin figures.. I end up in a primitive hellhole... I bet they don't even stay up past eleven in this dump." he muttered bitterly.

In the back of his mind he knew his exhaustion was putting him in a very foul mood. Then again the rest of him was telling that little voice of reason to shut the hell up.

He was about to give up hope and simply find some place where he could curl up in the shadows to rest when he noticed a faint light down a side street. The street broke away from the main strip of buildings and wound back into the woods that surrounded the village. Figuring where there's a light there's bound to be people, Milliardo changed his course and followed the small road.

He didn't have to walk far to see the two story building nestled back in the trees. On first glance he wasn't sure what it was supposed to be, but then as he drew closer he spotted familiar neon signs that advertised various brews of beer. "A bar...? Sign says open.. Hn.. Why not..." His dour mood lifting a bit, Milliardo made his way to the door of the establishment. He didn't have much money to his name, but if he was going to pity himself he at least wanted to be drunk while doing so. At least then he could blame it on the alcohol.

When he was almost to the door he noticed two cars parked in front of the building in the small gravel parking lot. That told him that the crowd would be minimal. Which suited him just fine. He didn't want to socialize, he just wanted to get drunk enough to forget who he was for a few precious hours.

"Hopefully I'll have enough to get decently drunk." he murmured to himself as he opened the door.

The door opened slowly, ringing a bell softly at the doorjamb. He always hated the way they always hung bells at the door. He preferred to just slip in quietly and avoid all recognition, but the bartender always needed to be alerted to anyone that walked in.

Luckily for him, when he stepped inside he only spotted three people. Two men playing pool in the back of the bar, and one person at the bar. The one at the bar made him curious since it looked to be the size of a teenaged boy. His frame was lithe, almost feminine, and atop his head was short pale blonde hair. It was almost the same shade as his own, but what was confusing was why the boy was in a bar at all. Even if he was in Canada, the drinking age was only 19.

'_Then again I might not want to know..'_ he reminded himself dryly.

Ignoring the boy, Milliardo moved to the bar and perched himself on a stool at the end of the row.

The bartender was polishing mugs behind the bar as Milliardo took his seat. He waited for the blonde man to make himself comfortable before he spoke. "What can I get for ya, Stranger?" he asked in a cigarette roughened voice.

Milliardo didn't pause to think as he answered. "Strongest thing you've got." he muttered while resting his elbows on the bar. It felt good just to be off his feet.

Chuckling, the bartender shook his head. "Can't really do that. I try not to serve straight Everclear to my patrons." His dark eyes glanced over to the boy at his bar and smirked. "Could let you have what he's drinking. Might be a bit too strong though. I honestly don't see how he's still conscious." he said on a laugh.

The boy hummed in amusement before he slammed back the shot he had in his hand. A faint shudder ripped through his small body before he let out a breathy chuckle. "I'm the one who taught you how to make it... Didn't honestly expect me to order something specific and then not be able to handle it, did you?" he asked with a smirk slowly pulling across his pale face. He then picked up his shot glass and placed it upside down on the small two level shot tower he was building. "I'll have another, Greg, if you please." he mumbled before leaning heavily on the bar.

The bartender let out a sigh and shook his head. "Alright, but I'm not gonna give you too many more. You're going to get alcohol poisoning if you keep drinking those damn things." he chided lightly as he sat the mug he was polishing aside.

A pale hand lifted and waved dismissively. "Nag nag nag... You're worse than my sisters...." the boy said through a soft chuckle.

Milliardo watched the exchange with mild interest, but he kept wondering who the boy was. He couldn't see all of the pale face due to the long bangs that hid his eyes._ 'Why does that voice seem so familiar...?'_ However before he could ponder the question for long the boy's head turned towards him. Soon he found himself locked in a surprised aqua colored stare.

The moment he saw the young face his mind froze in alarm. "You..." he whispered in total astonishment.

Those blue eyes blinked in surprise for a moment when they saw who was seated at the bar with him. They were both silent as they attempted to register this unusual event, but then the boy began chuckling. Seconds later his head was tossed back in a hearty laughter that nearly knocked him off his barstool.

Now confused, Milliardo frown deeply and clenched his fists. "What's so amusing?" he asked on a grunt.

Calming himself down, the boy sighed deeply and wiped the corner of his eyes. "Oh.. It's nothing really... I came to this nowhere little town to get away from the war for a bit." He smirked and gestured lightly towards the man. "And of all the people that could have wound up here, you walk through the door. It's so ironic that it's funny." he chuckled as he folded his arms on the bar top.

Understanding what the boy was getting at, Milliardo smirked and hummed softly. "I suppose it is ironic..."

The bartender glanced between the two blondes before finally settling on the boy again. "I take it that the two of you've met, Cat?" he asked lightly.

Smirking, the boy shook his head. "Not really.. Not in person at least." he admitted with a sly wink towards the blonde man.

The wink made Milliardo's smirk twitch a bit wider, but he became curious. "Cat? Since when have you been going by that name?"

"Oh that.. It's really a nickname my sisters gave me a long time ago." Cat said with a careless wave of his hand. "So what name are you going by now?" he asked to change the subject.

"Milliardo." he answered readily.

Which made Cat chuckle again. "Ah, going back to basics, I see. Very good. Well I hope you have more luck with this one than you did the last one. Greg, fix my friend a S.T.F.U shot, please. Put it on my tab."

Greg smirked and moved back to the liquor shelves behind the bar. "You got it, Cat."

Milliardo raised an eyebrow at the strange name. "S.T.F.U.?"

"It's a lovely recipe I stumbled upon called 'Shut the fuck up'." Cat explained with a smile.

"Guy hasta have a steel clad constitution to survive more than one." Greg laughed from where he began mixing various liquors together.

Now intrigued, Milliardo tried to catch a glimpse of what was going into it. "Okay... What all is in it?"

"One part 151 rum, one part Crown, one part Jager, one part Everclear, and a few splashes grenadine syrup for flavor." Cat replied lightly.

On hearing the ingredients Milliardo stared blankly at the boy. "You actually drink all of that? How many have you had?" he asked, a bit stunned. He had thought shooting whiskey was a bad habit of his, but the boy seemed to have taken it up several more notches.

Cat glanced over at his shot tower and counted them. "Let's see here.. Um.. Looks like I'm up to five. I'd say I'm good for another three before I call it a night." he added on a laugh.

"I'm tempted to cut you off now, Cat." the bartender grunted as he sat the two shots down on the bar.

"Pfft, I'm your best customer. Don't nag me." the boy snorted before turning his attention back on his companion. "Come on, let's see what you're made of, princy." Cat snickered as he waved for the man to come sit next to him.

The boy was obviously drunk, but how drunk remained to be seen. However Milliardo wasn't about to be showed up by a kid. He slid off his barstool and moved to where there was now only one stool that separated the two of them. He didn't sit back down though as he took up the shot glass filled with the dark liquids.

"You might wanna sit down. First one always knocks you for a loop." Cat warned lightly as he took up his own glass.

Milliardo snorted in annoyance. "I think I can handle it." He was pretty sure he could. Maybe.

Smirking wide, Cat raised his glass towards his old foe. "To your health, dear Milliardo... Ready... Set... Shoot!"

The pair both slammed back their shots, but the moment the intense burning liquid ran down his throat Milliardo's eyes grew twice their size. Once he got it down he gasped deeply for breath and trembled hard to the point he nearly dropped his shot glass. He was soon forced to lean against the bar as harsh coughs wracked through him.

Seeing the man cling to the bar for dear life made Cat break out into another fit of laughter. "I told you. Should have sat down." He reached over and patted the broad shoulder reassuringly. "It'll wear off in a few minutes. I must say I'm impressed through. Greg fell over on his first one."

"Excuse me if I'm not used to drinking paint thinner." Greg snapped back on a sarcastic laugh.

Grinning, Cat shrugged as he added his shot glass to his tower. "Well, I suppose it's an acquired taste. Better get a beer for my friend here so he can get his legs back." He turned his attention back to the blonde man and admired the rosy hue his cheeks had turned. "Well, what didja think, Milliardo? Pretty wicked stuff, huh?"

Milliardo coughed a few times in a futile attempt to lessen the burning in his chest. "I.. I think I know how it got its name... Can barely breathe afterwards, let alone speak..." he was able to gasp out. He shook his head to clear the heated fog that had managed to travel upward, and tugged lightly at the collar of his shirt. Once he could breathe without gasping he looked at the boy smiling at him and stared at him blankly. "How the hell can you drink that? Let alone more than one?" The kid looked like he was barely buzzing off the drink, which was nearly 100% alcohol.

"Oh this is nothing." Cat stated casually. "The guys I normally travel with, they make this home brewed stuff that's about two steps away from being kerosene. That will knock you on your ass, my friend. Compared to that, this seems watered down." he informed him with a chuckle.

"Sounds like drinking straight rubbing alcohol." the bartender snorted as he brought over two bottles of imported German beer

Taking one of the bottles without protest, the boy snickered as a though struck him. "Actually we rarely drank it that often. Most of the time we used it as an antiseptic for after we got back from a battle. Plus after a few drinks you didn't really give a shit about the piece of metal that the medics were trying to pry out of your leg." Cat laughed before taking a pull from his beer.

Hoisting himself up on the barstool next to the young soldier, Milliardo had to admit that the boy was rather amusing. "So you're just here taking a break from everything? How'd you end up here?" he asked, actually curious. He had never personally encountered this pilot before, so wasn't entirely certain of what to expect.

"Quite by accident, to be honest. " the boy started. He took another drink from his bottle before he continued. "I was wandering around aimlessly, killing time before I had to cart my ass back to the colonies when I stumbled onto this sleepy little town. I was just going to find a hotel to stay in for a few days when I noticed some kinda trouble here at the bar." He gestured to the pool tables lightly. "A few old Oz soldiers were hassling a couple of women and trying to scare Greg into giving them free booze. So I stepped in and persuaded them to leave."

"Persuaded my ass." Greg snorted. He looked towards Milliardo and smirked. "He always plays it down. He came in and busted their heads up pretty good. First he tried to be all polite and talk them into leaving quietly, but when they came after him he actually flipped one over his shoulder. Then all hell broke loose, and he pummeled two of them into a bloody pulp using the cue sticks. Then when the fourth guy went after him Cat tossed him onto the left pool table in the back then pulled out a knife. Shoved it through the guy's right hand and pinned it to the table." the bartender finished while taking note of the pleased little smile on the boy's face.

"Yeah, and there's still a huge fuckin stain on that table!" one of the men playing at the other pool table called out on a laugh.

Cat chuckled and glanced back at the table in question. "Oh yeah.. I forgot about that.. Greg, put a new pool table on my tab too." he added with a blithesome smile.

The bartender blinked in surprise, but the serious gleam in the aqua eyes made him give a resigned sigh. "Heh.. Okay... At this rate you're gonna own the entire village, you keep buyin new stuff for it."

"Hm, that's not a bad idea..." the boy mused aloud. "Okay, put the village on my tab too." he said, grinning widely.

"You can't be serious..." Milliardo said slowly, wondering just how drunk the boy was.

"I am. Just show me where to sign, and I'll buy the whole damn village." the blonde boy stated firmly. "I think having my own little village to retire to would make a very nice thing to look forward to after the war." he told his blonde companion with a sly wink.

On seeing that wink Milliardo paused. Behind the glazed aqua eyes he saw what looked to be a rueful expression on the young face. It was an expression he knew well. _'He doesn't expect to live through the war...'_ Milliardo's normally rigid features softened slightly as the corners of his mouth tugged upward in a faint smile. "Yeah... That does sound nice..."

Greg noticed the look the two shared, but decided it wasn't any of his business. "Heh, well I'll talk it over with the community leaders about it. After the way you drove all those soldiers out of town I'm pretty sure they'll rename the village after you." he jeered lightly, but honestly.

"I didn't really do anything." Cat corrected lightly. "Once they recognized me as a gundam pilot they left on their own." He nudged lightly at Milliardo's side and grinned impishly. "I suppose having an infamous reputation has its perks, eh Milliardo?"

The fact the boy admitted bluntly that he was a gundam pilot surprised Milliardo yet again, but what did more so was the fact that the village seemed to accept that so readily. It appeared as if the sleepy little village had accepted the blonde pilot with open arms, and it left Milliardo wondering how and why. "I suppose it all depends on the content of that reputation. Apparently yours has had somewhat of an endearing quality to the people around you." he mumbled quietly.

Which was the truth if what he had heard from Noin was any indication. The woman only had wonderful and praising words to say about one Quatre Winner. Praise that Milliardo was beginning to see was justly deserved.

The Arabian shrugged and gave a blissfully tipsy smirk. "I think it's just because I'm so sickeningly cute. My father said I could get away with murder with this face. I look too damn innocent for anyone to hate me." Cat stated in a matter of fact tone.

"I'll say." Greg chimed in laughing. "Half the women in the village want you to meet their daughters."

"Heh, no thanks. I had my fill of meeting other people's daughters back at the Sanc Kingdom. It's a miracle got out of there unengaged." In fact Cat had to lift his left hand just to make sure a ring hadn't materialized when he wasn't looking.

Milliardo found himself smirking a bit wider as he finally took up his awaiting beer. "I had similar feelings during my time at the academy."

"Not hard ta see why." Cat mumbled as his glazed eyes took a long appreciative glance at his one time enemy. "I suppose it's a curse we'll just have to live with. One good thing about it is that we usually get our way in the end. So it's not without its perks either." he pointed out with a flirtatious wink.

The suggestive glance startled Milliardo a bit, but he still found it rather amusing. "I suppose you do have a valid argument there... Then again, it sometimes just places more people against you."

The boy's head nodded slightly. "True, but who gives a shit about those people? If they don't like it they can go fuck themselves." He pointed directly at his companion and gave him a serious look. "Never change who you are just because a few pricks don't like it. Only time a person should change is if they feel it's best for themselves."

The way he was speaking made Milliardo feel as if the boy was directing the comment solely at him. Curious, he quirked up a brow and sat down his beer bottle. "Rather conservative view coming from you."

"Conservative or not, it's true." The gundam pilot took a large gulp of his beer and let out a deep sigh. "I'm sick of two faced people claiming that they fight for what they believe in only to instantly bend over backwards to shove their heads up someone's ass. No one has any will or sense of pride anymore. It's all a kiss ass game to gain money and power... Turns my stomach just watching it." he muttered before finishing off his beer.

"I'm with you, pal." the bartender snorted lightly. "Unfortunately it's not simple to get people to understand that there are no shortcuts... Another beer, Cat?" he offered lightly.

The boy smiled charmingly. "Yes, Greg. You're such a dear. Put another grand on my tab as a tip." he cooed playfully.

Greg laughed as he got another bottle from his stock. "Cat, you keep up at this rate you're gonna put both my kids through college."

Banging his fist on the bar top, Cat pointed at the bartender and grinned evilly. "Go ahead and put that on my tab too! Which university? Yale? Cambridge? You name it!" He snickered at the slack jawed look of alarm on his new friend's face. "What? I mean it! Come on, tell me something else I can buy!"

"Cat, you've already blown over ten million!" Greg exclaimed. "You can't just throw your money at everything!"

"Watch me!" the young blonde cackled. His eyes then zeroed in on his drinking companion. "How bout you, Milliardo? You name it, I'll get it for you. A new motorcycle? A private jet? Fiji? Just name it and it'll be yours by morning!" Cat stated with an eager expression on his face.

Milliardo was a bit startled by the sudden offers and wasn't sure what to say. "Well.. I can't say that there is anything that I really need at the moment..."

"I said nothing about needing anything." the boy cut in quickly. "Is there anything you want? Anything at all?"

At first Milliardo was going to say no, but then he got to thinking. What did he want? _'I want a purpose... I want a direction to follow.. A goal to work for... You can't buy that...'_ he thought a bit bitterly. However he kept his expression neutral as he thought of something to say. "Alright... I want to know how you got that nickname." he finally stated calmly.

Cat was a bit surprised by the sudden question, but a rueful smirk appeared on his face as he nodded. "Okay, I can tell you..." He took the new beer that Greg had brought for him as he briefly thought of where he should begin. "Well.. It started when I was seven. I was the typical troublesome boy back then, always getting into messes and what not. Then one day I had the brilliant idea to climb the tallest tree in the gardens. It was an enormous sycamore. Stood well over a hundred feet tall..." He paused to take a sip from his beer before he continued. "It took me probably half an hour to reach the top, but I made it..." A small smile formed on his face as he remembered the view from the top of the tree. "The top of that tree was the only place where I actually realized just how beautiful the colony was..."

Noticing the nostalgic expression on the boy's face, he found himself remembering a time where he had done something very similar at his old home. "I've done something like that before.. Although it was hardly anything that tall. I ended up falling out and breaking my leg." he mused aloud.

Cat chuckled softly and shook his head. "Well, I didn't break anything... In all retrospect I should have died..." He looked into the icy blue gaze fixed on him and smiled wistfully. "On my way down the tree one of the branches broke and I fell. Sixty feet straight down." His eyes dropped down to the floor as he recalled the feeling he had experienced in that horrific moment. "It was strange... I was hitting the branches below me and falling so fast... But it didn't hurt. My mind was completely blank as I kept falling. Felt like I was falling for hours..." A deep sigh left him as he met Milliardo's gaze once more. "Only thought that flashed through my mind was that I knew I was going to be okay. Next thing I knew I somehow managed to grab hold of another branch about ten feet off the ground. The sudden stop pulled my shoulder out of place, then I just let go of the branch." He laughed softly before he added "I landed right on my feet."

The tale left Milliardo quite impressed. "Heh, so that's why they called you Cat?"

"Part of the reason." Cat absently tilted his bottle back and forth. "One of my sisters had seen the entire thing. Nearly scared her to death, and said it was a miracle that I was even alive. She joked that along with always landing on my feet that I must have nine lives as well. Now after everything that I've been through I'm inclined to agree with that..." he mumbled before taking another gulp of his beer.

"Hn.. So how many lives have you used up?" Milliardo asked a bit sarcastically. However his smirk faltered a bit when the boy held up a hand with all five fingers spread.

Which Cat then began counting off. "I jumped in front of a bullet to save the Captain of my men when I was thirteen. I was badly wounded in a battle where I was forced to self-destruct my gundam in order to save two of my comrades. I was almost killed in the aftermath of the explosion that killed my father.... And I nearly got myself killed during the little Zero incident..." He chuckled despite all the harsh memories that he was talking about so casually. "I'm down to four lives... And with the way this war's going I'm going to have plenty of opportunities to cash them in."

"Cat, don't talk like that." Greg grunted quickly. "You've made it this far. I see no reason you can't make it the entire way." he stated firmly.

"Heh.. Thanks for the vote of confidence, Greg. Every little bit helps." Cat said with a wide grin. "Anyway, where was I... Oh yeah, blowing all my money recklessly." He shot his attention back to Milliardo and gave a tipsy grin. "Come on, Milliardo.. There's gotta be something I can get for ya." he continued on a light whine.

Milliardo snorted softly and locked his gaze on the bar top. "I don't suppose you can buy me a new life..."

"Pfft, is that all?"

The sarcastic tone made the Epyon pilot lift his head. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked with a frown.

Cat smirked and leaned casually against the bar. "Please, new lives are so ridiculously easy to fabricate anymore. Give me four hours and you'll be sitting on a beach in Cancun sipping margaritas with a new name, passports, birth certificate and medical records. Hell, I'll even throw in a beach bungalow if that's what you really want."

"Hey, now that sounds nice." Greg chuckled. "I wouldn't mind takin that offer."

"I'd give it to ya, but your wife would kill me." Cat quipped with a grin. He shot his gaze back to his drinking companion and nudged lightly at him with his elbow. "Well? Is that what you want? Just say the word and it's yours."

Milliardo wanted to believe that it was the liquor talking, but he somehow knew the offer was sincere. "Heh... That is very tempting... Can I have it put on hold while I think about it?"

"Heh.. Sure, just don't wait too long. Might just stick it all in my will should I happen to meet an unfortunate demise before you decide." Cat pointed at him with an evil grin. "So if a lawyer suddenly tells you you're the new owner of beach side property in Cancun it means you took too damn long deciding."

Hardly knowing what to say to that, Milliardo glanced away for a moment. It was painfully clear that the blonde pilot was accepting that he was to become a casualty of the war. For some reason that resignation left Milliardo feeling empty inside. "I'll try to get back to you on that quickly."

Cat giggled softly and slowly slid off his barstool. "Be sure that you do. Well, I think I'll call it a night. You staying anywhere in town, Milliardo?" he asked as he stretched lightly.

"No, I just wandered in." Milliardo answered as he took note of the way the boy's shirt lifted up, exposing bruises on his lightly defined torso.

Now intrigued, Cat gestured towards the stairs in the far corner of the bar. "If you need a place to stay you can crash in the room I'm renting on the second floor."

The offer surprised Milliardo, but he was soon shaking his head. "No, that's alright. I don't know if I'll be staying here much longer."

"Ah, I see. Well, if you change your mind you're still welcome. Night, Greg."

"Night, Cat..." The bartender waited for the young rebel to disappear up the stairs before he looked at his other customer. "You know it's impolite to turn down such a generous invitation... I think you should take him up on that offer."

Milliardo snorted softly and took up his beer. "And why's that?"

Greg looked at him with a faint smile and a knowing glare. "Because before you showed up I had never heard Cat laugh... Or saw him smile that much. Seeing you brightened his mood considerably... And I've got a suspicion that it cheered you up as well."

He couldn't deny that the few moments he spent in the Arabian's company had been the most enjoyable in a long time. A short sigh left Milliardo as he thought it over. "Not sure if that would be wise... We were enemies for a long time." he finally stated as the reality sank in.

"Perhaps, but you're speakin in the past tense. Doesn't that mean you're not enemies anymore?" Greg countered lightly. When the blonde man looked at him in confusion Greg chuckled. "Hey, I'm not pushing you into it. All I'm saying is that without the rank and uniform you're both still soldiers... Still human..." He started clearing away the used shot glasses as he added one more thing. "Now would you rather spend a night alone getting drunk with strangers, or would you rather spend it with someone that might understand what you're going through?"

The calmly spoken words sobered Milliardo a bit. At first he wanted to deny that the boy would understand, but as he thought about it he realized that he may be the only one that understood. _'He was betrayed by the people he was fighting for... The people revolted against his family, and his father died for his pacifist beliefs... And now he's searching for a new reason to fight... He knows exactly what I'm going through...' _

With that thought in mind, Milliardo looked up to the bartender who was wiping down the bar top. "You make a valid point... Not sure what else I could say to him though..."

Greg shrugged carelessly as he kept his eyes on the beer mug. "Don't hafta say anything. Sometimes just knowing the other person is there is enough to have a decent rest." His gaze lifted and focused on the dark circles under the pale eyes. "From the looks of it I'd say you were due for a good rest. Last room on the left. Won't mention it any further." Greg finished before going to take a buss tub filled with glasses to a doorway behind the bar.

Milliardo was left frowning, but the bartender was correct on several things. He was tired, and the thought of a bed or a couch to sleep on was very tempting. _'Hell, I'll take the floor at this point...'_ he mused silently.

The sound of the bell at the door drew his attention. He watched the only two people in the bar gather their coats and slip out. That left him alone without even the company of strangers. Before he was convinced that he didn't need anyone else, but as he sat at the deserted bar he found himself feeling lonely. _'I'm lonely.... Maybe I've always been lonely...'_

He found himself slipping off the barstool before his mind had even reached a decision. Soon he was climbing the creaky stairs to the second floor and quietly approached the last door on the left. His mind briefly pondered the possibility of an elaborate trap waiting for him beyond the brown door. As he reached for the door he found himself not caring either way. _'I'm sick of being alone...'_

After he gently tapped on the door there was a muffled voice bidding him entry. He cracked the door open enough for him to slip inside, then closed the door behind him. The room was modestly furnished with a fair sized bed, a dresser and a few tables with lamps. On the bed seated leaning back against the headboard, the blonde boy was quietly writing things down on a note pad.

He didn't lift his gaze, but a smile tugged onto his lips. "So you changed your mind that quickly? I hope Greg didn't force you up here because he thought I was lonely." he chuckled as he continued to write by the light from the lamp on the bedside table.

Milliardo hummed in amusement as he tugged off his tattered long coat. "Actually he chased me up here because he thought I was lonely... He's very insightful for a small town bartender."

"Heh, don't let the job and location fool you. Greg's a psych major. He can crack into anyone's head. Quite annoying." the boy stated while lightly chewing on his pen.

That information made Milliardo snort softly. "That figures...." He tossed his coat on the table in the corner of the small room and took up a chair. "So what are you working on, if you don't mind my asking?" he questioned while sitting backwards in the chair.

Cat hummed softly as he glanced over his writing. "Bad habit I have when I drink a bit too much... I end up writing lists of things I should or shouldn't have done... Write letters to various people I've wronged... Make amendments to my will.. Whatever crosses my mind, really."

Not entirely surprised by that, Milliardo rested his folded arms on the back of his chair. "You sound rather coherent considering how much you drank."

"I have a ridiculous alcohol tolerance... I drank Heero under the table on a few occasions at Sanc."

"Heh, now that I would have liked to see."

"I'll put in a request next time I see him..." A slight frown formed over the pale brow before he let out a weary breath. "Great, just depressed myself further." he muttered while tossing the notepad down on the bedspread.

Milliardo quirked up an eyebrow at the sudden mood shift. "What's wrong?"

Cat rubbed lightly at his temples to offset the headache that was settling over him. "Just everything.... Was thinking about what my goals were before I got involved this far in the war... Back when I thought I actually had a chance of seeing it over quickly." he said on a weary sigh.

Able to sympathize, Milliardo hummed softly. "All soldiers go through that... Especially the young ones. That period usually makes or breaks their careers."

The response wasn't something he expected, but it made Cat think. "I suppose you're used to it. However I doubt the soldiers you're used to were forced to sacrifice as much as myself and the other gundam pilots... And you... You're in the same boat as the rest of us, aren't you?" he asked with a curious lilt to his voice.

"Hm, seems that irony has struck again." Milliardo conceded. "To be honest I'm not sure what I'm going to do... I have nothing left out there."

"There's Relena... And Miss Noin." Quatre offered quietly. His expression softened once he thought of the woman he fought along side at the Sanc kingdom. "She misses you... Perhaps you should join her."

Thoughts of the woman that always stood by his side forced Milliardo to bow his head. "I thought about it... But I always end up breaking her heart. She needs to learn to live without me. She won't survive if she's constantly waiting for me to come to my senses."

Cat nodded as he pulled his knees up to his chest. "I understand. Sometimes leaving is the only way we can protect those we love..." His gaze lowered to the list he made and his expression grew somber. "It seems like another lifetime... I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to return home."

"Because you don't expect to survive?"

"Partly..." A deep sigh left the Arabian as memories taunted him. "My identity is now public knowledge. I've tainted my family's name... There's no way I would be able to return with the things I've done."

Milliardo felt himself settling into a deeper understanding with the blonde boy. "I believe I'm in the same situation. I tried taking the role of a peace ambassador under my real name, but taking on that role made me ill... I was a hypocrisy... Posing as a pacifist with blood still on my hands."

Cat chuckle despite the mood and let his head rest back on the head board. "Seems like our positions are nearly identical, Milliardo..."

"So it does..." Now understanding a hesitant kindredness with his one time enemy, Milliardo relaxed a bit. There was no threat here. His eyes locked on the notepad on the bed, and he found himself curious. "Do you mind if I look at your list?"

Keeping his eyes on the cracks in the ceiling, Cat waved him on. "I don't mind."

The older blonde got up from his chair and sat himself on the end of the bed as he took up the note pad. His eyes glanced over the first line and he paused at what he saw. "Prove your father wrong?"

"Yeah... He said my place was to be his obedient heir. That I should be content with my life as he dictated... That I was foolish, and my beliefs were skewed." A frown formed on his pale face when he recalled his father's last words to him. "He cheated... He let himself be killed clinging to his own beliefs. He never gave me a chance. He refused to fight even for his own life. Yet he died disappointed in me..." Cat closed his eyes as the moment played through his head. "I never figured out if he was trying to tell me to simply give up... Was I supposed to just fall over and die the moment conflict became unavoidable? I just don't understand why a father would tell that to his child..."

Milliardo was silent for a moment as he thought over what was said. "Perhaps... He was trying to show that if you were going to believe that strongly in something you had to be willing to die for it."

Cat's eyes opened as he took in the words. "Maybe... But after that moment I lost sight in what I believed in. Now I'm just looking for a purpose... I don't know what to believe anymore."

"Neither do I." Milliardo admitted. The fact that he could say that so easily surprised him. _'This kid really understands...'_ His attention drifted back towards the list he held, and a smile twitched onto his lips at the next item. "Explore the Earth... At least you've gotten to do that to an extent."

Another chuckle left the boy as he thought over all the places he had gone. "I have, but there's so much that I haven't gotten to see... I never understood why people are so bent to explore space when they haven't really discovered everything here. I want to go mountain climbing in the Alps... Diving around the coral reefs... Hiking in the remote wilderness... But I have gotten to camp out in the desert. Dawn and dusk are breath taking out there... And the stars look so much more beautiful. I wouldn't mind staying on Earth if I made it through the war." A sly smirk formed on his face as he looked towards his companion. "Maybe we could share that little beach bungalow in Cancun."

Intrigued, Milliardo found himself smirking as well. "I hope you're not propositioning me. You're a bit young." he added dryly.

"Heh, so I'm old enough to be a soldier, but I'm too young to hit on you? What an ageist thing to say." Cat countered coyly. "You're only four years older than me, ya know."

"Yes, but does that mean you are hitting on me?" Milliardo asked on a slight laugh.

The blond head shook as he hummed softly. "Nah. I probably could given how much booze I've marinated in, but I try not to let myself get involved with anyone like that. Things are too chaotic and dangerous for me to even humor the idea." Cat stated quite calmly.

"Now that is rather mature of you." Milliardo commented. "However it can't be easy to force yourself to stay isolated. For the most part I at least had Noin. Even Treize."

"I wouldn't say I've been isolated most of the time... I had the Maguanac core by my side for a long time. They're like my family now. Then there are the other gundam pilots.... And now you're here." Cat added quietly.

Hearing that made Milliardo feel strange, but in a comforting way. He was glad he had decided to come up here. "Hm.. So I am. Nice to know I can still do something for someone." His eyes glanced back to the list. "Become a concert violinist... So I'm assuming you can play."

Cat nodded. "And the piano... It's the only time I feel like myself. When I'm playing things don't seem as bleak... But it's been months since I've been able to." He paused for a moment and smiled when he remembered something. "No.. I did get to play piano in Sanc. I played for Miss Noin. It made her smile..."

Milliardo thought of the woman's smile and found it was fitting. "She always did like the piano... I'm glad she's still able to smile."

"She smiled quite a bit.. But I had the feeling a lot of it was forced. I felt badly for how hard she fought only for Relena to just give up like that." Cat said on a deep sigh.

"I know..." Milliardo frowned at his companion. "But you also worked hard. Traveled all the way back to the desert and risked your life to return with your gundam and your forces on your own? It must have been very disappointing for you."

Which the gundam pilot couldn't deny. He nodded and bowed his head. "If only she had given us a little more time.. We could have lasted..."

"If Heero and I hadn't been so obsessed with defeating one another..." Milliardo muttered as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"It probably would have turned out the same way." Cat cut in calmly. "It's noble of Relena to stick to her beliefs, but not when the stakes are so high..."

"I agree..." Pale eyes glanced back at the list, and the last item written made a soft frown form over his face. "Be proud of yourself?"

Cat covered his eyes on hearing the last thing on his list. "That... My men value their pride in their abilities. Their accomplishments. Who they are and what they are above all else. When I first met them I was the complete opposite. I hated everything about myself. After being around them I realized how much I wanted that sense of pride... That kind of strength they drew from it." He shook his head as he winced at the memories that ran through his head. "I've failed so miserably... Any good I may have done has come crashing down around me. I've strayed so far from what my intentions were. Now my intentions aren't even possible anymore. I'm.. Back where I started..."

He was about to stew in a good dose of self pity, but he was broken from his thoughts when he felt the firm mattress suddenly shift. He pulled his hand away as a firm arm wrapped around his shoulders. "M.. Milliardo..?"

Pulling the boy closer to him, Milliardo shook his head. "I may just be acting on impulse... But you're not the only one that feels like that... You're not alone..."

The boy's heart clenched tightly as he finally registered the solid warmth next to him. Once he thought over the hesitant words he bowed his head in shame. "I'm pathetic... I've only been actively in the war for two years... But it seems like an eternity... I can't imagine what it's been like for you..."

"You're not pathetic, Cat." Milliardo corrected quietly. "Everything I've been through you were shoved through in a fraction of the time without rest... Now isn't the time to pity yourself. You should be taking this time to collect yourself."

"Quatre."

"What?"

The younger blonde looked up at the man holding him and smiled softly. "Please call me Quatre."

Seeing that smile made one tug over Milliardo's lips. "Quatre. I'm not sure about you, but I'm exhausted. How 'bout we save the brooding for another time?"

Quatre nodded readily and shifted to kick his shoes and socks off. Milliardo followed suit, and was soon holding the boy close to him as the lamp turned off. He felt those surprisingly strong arms wrap around him, and the short locks tickled his chin as Quatre's head rested on his chest.

"Good night, Milliardo..."

The tired way his name was spoken made him smile. "Good night, Quatre."

As the silence fell over the room, he thought it would be awkward. Holding his enemy so close in an intimate embrace.

But it wasn't. It was comfortable. Relaxing even. His senses locked on to the sound of the boy's breathing. The feel of the warm weight on his chest. The scent of the silky strands brushing against his face.

His eyes fixed on the darkness in front of him. He noticed Quatre's breath had evened out and slowed. _'He's asleep..'_ The fact the boy could relax so easily against him was a puzzling thing, but it made a strange sense of peace form inside of him.

Within seconds he felt his own body relaxing into the firm mattress as he clung a bit tighter to the boy he once sought to destroy. His eyes slid shut as he stopped resisting the darkness that was trying to take over his senses.

For the first time..

Perhaps in his life...

Things seemed better.

_fjfjfj_

A soft groan left Milliardo's lips as he shifted underneath the covers.

'_Covers..?'_

He frowned slightly, but didn't open his eyes. Instead he blindly reached out for the warm body that was supposed to be next to him.

When his hands could only find sheets covering the rest of the bed, his eyes snapped open. "Quatre..?" It was daylight beyond the drawn gray curtains, but he couldn't find the boy within the small room.

Growing concerned, Milliardo sat up and carefully looked around the room. His eyes focused on an envelope resting on night stand with his name written on it. His hand quickly turned on the lamp on the night stand before snatching up the envelope. The letters of his name were done in a very delicate calligraphy style. Seeing it made a strange feeling twist inside his stomach.

His fingers carefully opened the envelope, and his eyes widened on seeing what was inside. Several crisp bills were waiting for him in the envelope. He pulled them out and saw that it was Canadian currency. A very high denomination of Canadian currency. _'Shit.. There must be a couple grand in here...' _

As he flipped through the money, his fingers found a small slip of paper. Only two words were written on it, but they made Milliardo's throat tighten the moment he read them.

'_Thank you.'_

He lowered the note and pinched tightly at the bridge of his nose.

Quatre was gone. Slipped away in the middle of the night so no awkward attachments or goodbyes would have to be fumbled through.

Part of him had at least wanted the chance at a proper farewell, but Milliardo knew this was better. A clean break.

"Still.. He didn't have to do this.." he muttered as he looked over the money that was now in his possession.

It was enough to keep him going for a good while if he spent it wisely. At the moment, he really didn't see himself going anywhere. "Might as well stay here for now..."

As he placed the money back in the envelope, his eyes noticed something strange across the room. Next to the dresser was the chair he had sat in the night before. His coat was neatly folded on the seat, and the notepad the boy had been using was resting atop it.

"I know I didn't do that..."

Curious, Milliardo climbed out of bed and approached the chair. On the notepad was the same list Quatre had written, but at the bottom there was a new line. It was circled and had a check mark next to it. Milliardo picked up the notepad and read the words that had been added.

'_Find someone that understands.'_

A smile suddenly twitched onto Milliardo's lips.

"Looks like I can cross that off my list as well, Quatre."

_fjfjfjfjThe Endfjfjfjfj_

Until next time

Later~


End file.
